Imagine if you could fully accept yourself as you are now, but also continue to grow.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could follow your dreams and effectively handle inner criticism, negativity and doubt?
What if you could improve your relationships, consciously choosing the degree of connection and intimacy, the strength of your boundaries, and how you communicate?
You can do all these things.
The problem is most of us live on autopilot most of the time.
Our behaviours, our thoughts, and our feelings are controlled by the parts of our personality that have become dominant in us. These parts developed in our childhood to protect us and help us survive. They are our ‘defences’.
They’ve done an amazing job (you’re here!), but the way they function (and therefore how you function) may no longer be ideal.
Our habitual patterns and reactions, our conflicted feelings, our judgments about ourselves and others that cause pain, come from these parts.
Because whenever you say ‘I’ you are speaking from one of the parts of yourself. At any point in time your I may be the voice of your Responsible Self, or Judgmental Self, or Analytical Mind, or Pleaser, or any other self you identify with.
You actually have many inner selves, and together they make up your personality as a whole.
Some selves you accept and identify with, while others are relegated to your ‘shadow’. And different selves emerge at different times.
So your Achiever or Perfectionist may be who you are at work. But your inner Caring Parent (or Nagging Parent) may be who emerges with your children.
Or in your relationship you may sometimes be your Loving Self or Playful Self or Sensual Self. But at other times your inner Critical Self or Controlling Parent or Needy Child takes over.
It could be that you are always operating from one self or a group of selves that work together, such as the Responsible Self or the Pleaser, and you struggle to express other parts of yourself.
Each part has a function in your psyche, and how you behave and feel is determined by how your inner selves are ‘configured’ in you.
That has massive implications for how your life and relationships play out.
If you’d like more choice in how you experience your life, if you’d like to release old patterns, heal old wounds and access new ways of feeling, behaving and relating, then developing greater awareness of and connection to your inner selves is key.
When you understand why your selves operate as they do, then you have the opportunity to take responsibility and tap into other parts of yourself and make new and better choices going forward.
This website has plenty of resources to help you with this process.
You can also purchase my books, the dvds/audios featuring Voice Dialogue’s creators Drs Hal and Sidra Stone demonstrating this work, and books from other teachers.
And if you have any questions, just send me a message via a comment on any of the posts here or via Facebook.
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Most posts contain both explanatory information and practical exercises so read to the end for techniques you can try at home.
“I know your work will make a huge difference to the lives of many people.”Mrs A Salis
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