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“I consider the Voice Dialogue process to be one of the most powerful tools for personal growth that I’ve ever discovered.”Shakti Gawain

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What is Voice Dialogue?

Voice Dialogue refers to the complete body of work of American psychologists Dr Hal Stone and Dr Sidra Stone.

This includes the Psychology of Selves, which is the theory the Stones developed in the 1970s on how the human psyche is made up of many discrete selves.

The Voice Dialogue technique enables you to dialogue with your various selves, also known as parts and energy patterns, including archetypes.

Many self-development teachers and psychotherapeutic systems have been influenced by The Psychology of Selves and use aspects of it in their own work.

Shakti Gawain, for instance, credits it with being one of the most powerful tools she’s ever discovered and so it became a major part of her own work, and some Buddhist teachers incorporate it into their teachings. It’s been described as bridging Eastern spirituality and Western psychology.

You probably already refer to your selves in your everyday language, such as to your Inner Child, Inner Critic, Inner Perfectionist, and Inner Demons.

Even the Disney Pixar movie Inside Out deals with selves, portraying them as emotions, such as Joy, Anger and Sadness.

Voice Dialogue is safe and empowering personal growth work, and it complements and enhances most other types of psycho-spiritual consciousness work.

The Voice Dialogue process enables you to become aware of and embody the richness and depth of who you are.

When you become conscious of your selves – both those that protect you and control your life and those that are hidden and buried – you gain the most valuable rewards.

Old patterns will shift more easily, stubborn blocks will dissolve, and your relationships will transform.

Connecting with Your Inner Selves

Just like the many inner petals of a rose are hidden before it blooms, with only a few visible on the outside, you too have only a few selves visible on the outside, with many more hidden underneath, layered over one another, protecting your core.

That part of yourself you feel is you, that holds your rules, values and much of your personal history, is your primary self. This primary self developed in your childhood to protect you and enable your survival. It is who you have come to identify as (you might call it your ego or your personality).

This primary self does an amazing job (you’re alive!) but it is limited by its nature – by its perceptions, abilities, energy and rules. And so therefore you’re limited by its nature.

For instance, if you developed a highly Responsible self because that’s what worked for you in your family system, then as an adult you may be someone who others depend on but you might also find it difficult to let go, to be spontaneous and to have fun.

Or if you developed a strong Analytical Mind then you may find it challenging to express and understand feelings (your own and other people’s) or to feel at all.

Or if you became a Pleaser, then you probably find it impossible to feel entitled to take for yourself and have your own needs met.

You actually have many selves that make up your personality. A bit like an onion with its many layers, or an orchestra with its many instruments and players.

Some selves you accept and include in the package that’s ‘you’, while others are relegated to your ‘shadow’ where you judge them or have little or no awareness of them.

Usually different selves emerge at different times.

So your Achiever or Perfectionist may be who you are at work. But your Nurturing Parent may be who emerges with your children.

In your relationship you may sometimes be your Playful Self or Sensual Self, but at other times your Critical Father/Mother or Needy Self takes over.

It could be that you are always operating from one self or a group of selves that work together, such as the Responsible Self or the Pleaser, and you struggle to ever express other parts of yourself.

How your selves are ‘configured’ in you will determine the choices you make and how you behave and feel. 

Each part of you holds particular memories and has a narrative about your life, from its experience of it. Each self has preferences for how you live your life and goals it would like you to achieve. Each self also has anxieties and concerns. 

So when you’re setting goals, imagining a future, healing the past, your results will depend on who in you is involved.

That has massive implications for how your life and relationships play out.

If you’d like to become more conscious in how you experience your life, then becoming aware of and integrating your selves is key. 

Start my downloading my FREE ebook Which Inner Self is Running Your Life? for an example of how Voice Dialogue will help you in an everyday situation.

It also gives you an overview of 20 selves, and a simple exercise to discover your own primary and disowned selves.