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How Do You Know if Your Relationship is Over? First Find Out if You’re in a ‘Negative Bonding Pattern’

Should you end your relationship? That's a question many people ask at some stage in a long-term relationship. Especially after a big argument, an attraction or affair, or a series of smaller disagreements over time, or if you find yourself feeling negative about your relationship or about your partner. But before taking action you might later regret, first work out if you're stuck in a negative bonding pattern ...
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Are You Choosing the Right Goals for You?

Have you ever set a goal or made a decision to do something and not achieved it? Do you set similar goals year after year, each time determined you will finally succeed? If that's the case, then maybe it's a part or inner self of yours setting your goals, but those goals may not be what you really want. Discover how to get a clearer picture of what ...
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Your Inner Critic – The Key to Your Personal Growth and Freedom

The Inner Critic is the cause of so much suffering (anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, relationship problems, self-sabotage), and so it's natural to try to silence, ignore or get rid of it. But when we do, it simply re-appears in new ways, and usually with greater power. We also miss out on the life-changing gift it offers us. This post explains why the Inner Critic criticises, ...
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The Ultimate Secret of Life

Many years ago I had an encounter with the most amazing spiritual teacher. I had been studying the works of Nisargadatta Maharaj and loved his work. And then something unusual happened that pushed me onto a new path. This post begins with the story of that experience.  Meeting Nisargadatta Maharaj In my early twenties, while I was at university, I started ...
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Meet the Selves: The Princess

Meet Your Inner Princess The Inner Princess can be found in both women and men. It is the self who believes itself to be more important than those around it, and because of that, deserving of special treatment. From the perspective of the Princess, it is special. It 'needs' certain things in life, such as extra rest, better holidays, special food, ...
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Meet the Selves: Your Instinctual Energy or ‘Jungle Animal’

Instinctual Energy There is a group of selves/energies that exist in our psyche, who are a part of our instinctual heritage. Many people experience this energy as a jungle animal. We all experience this energy in our own way, with some people feeling they have an inner lion, tiger or panther, and others a bear or other large, strong animal — but I'll refer ...
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Meet the Selves: The Free Spirit

Are You an Eleutheromaniac? (aka The Free Spirit) The Free Spirit moves through life doing what it wants to do, when it wants to do those things. It is independent and free thinking. It has a flowing quality to its energy, which can change direction easily. It does not get stuck or hooked up on things, nor does it like ...
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How to Care for Your Vulnerable Inner Child

The work of Brene Brown and Glennon Doyle has brought much-needed attention to our essential vulnerability, which in Voice Dialogue is an inner self called the Vulnerable Child. This Vulnerable Inner Child is who we all are at birth and it holds our essence so purely. Discover how to re-connect with your Inner Vulnerable Child, learn to care for it consciously, and reap the rewards - particularly ...
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Self Awareness: Primary Selves, Disowned Selves and Opposite Selves

Self-awareness involves recognising the various selves that make up who you are. These include primary and disowned selves. As you become more aware of which selves are running your life, including determining your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, you can start to take charge and have more conscious choice.  Primary Selves Your primary self is the self or group of selves that you identify with, ...
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How to Make Your Relationship Work: Respect Your Relationship as Teacher, Healer and Guide

To make your relationship work so that it's satisfying and fulfilling for both you and your partner, begin to respect your relationship as your teacher, healer and guide. There are ten fundamental steps to do this in your relationship. In my book The Perfect Relationship I describe the ten steps to transform a relationship into one that supports both partners in the relationship to grow and heal. The ...