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How Do You Know if Your Relationship is Over? First Find Out if You’re in a ‘Negative Bonding Pattern’

Should you end your relationship? That's a question many people ask at some stage in a long-term relationship. Especially after a big argument, an attraction or affair, or a series of smaller disagreements over time, or if you find yourself feeling negative about your relationship or about your partner. But before taking action you might later regret, first work out if you're stuck in a negative bonding pattern ...
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Responding to Your Child Crying When They’re Upset

When you see your child is upset and is crying, your natural response is probably to make them feel better, and this usually translates into stopping them crying. There is another approach, which involves supporting your child to cry it all out. This honours their feelings and enables your child to process them fully. The advantages of this in the long term are priceless. ...
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How to Handle Picky Eaters More Easily

One of the biggest challenges with raising children is getting them to eat the foods you want them to eat. A powerful tool you can use to make mealtimes less frustrating and more enjoyable is to pay attention to who in you is invested in the particular meal and in your children's dietary regime in general. Here's how I've used this ...
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Has Your Relationship Lost its Spark? Check if You’re Stuck in a ‘Positive Bonding Pattern’

If your relationship has lost its spark but you still love your partner, it's likely you're stuck in a relationship pattern called a positive bonding pattern. Learn how these innate relationship patterns work, and how to navigate them so you can get your relationship back on track. It's normal for the excitement you might have felt at the beginning of your relationship to diminish over ...
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Should Parents Stand United When Raising Their Children – Even If They Disagree?

Here are some thoughts on the conventional ‘rule’ that parents must have the same parenting style and always agree with one another when raising and disciplining their children. M y own parents were absolute opposites – Dionysian and Apollonian energies personified. My mother was a highly intellectual and serious woman who valued learning and studying above all else. She often told me ...
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How Relationships Work: Your Inner Selves, Vulnerability and Bonding Patterns

When you understand how relationships work, it becomes easier to solve relationship problems and enjoy better relationships. But in order to do that, first you need to look at how you work. This post explains how we are all made up of many selves (also known as inner selves, parts or sub-personalities), and how the dance of these selves affects our relationships.  ...
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Attachment Parenting vs Authoritative Parenting

I identify more as an 'attachment parent' than an 'authoritative parent' but I've always wondered why people would raise their children in an authoritative or authoritarian way. So I did an experiment and got in touch with my own inner authoritarian parental energy to see what I could learn from it. The lessons were valuable indeed. This is what I discovered:  T here’s a bit ...
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Connect With Your Child Consciously (Or With Anyone Else!)

Learn how to consciously connect with your children to help with all kinds of parenting challenges. Conscious parenting involves becoming aware of your natural connecting style and learning how to choose the way you connect in different situations to help you with the day-to-day challenges of parenting.  C onnecting with your children (and with anyone else!) is something we all do but is also something few of us ...
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Supernanny or Super Mama?

I wrote this piece in response to criticism mothers often have directed at us about how we raise our children 'these days', and in particular to the popular parent-helper Supernanny. It explains the crucial parent/child bond - different to the nanny/child bond - and how this is the blueprint for all later relationships. A re you tired of hearing how mothers 'these days' do not ...
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My First Tween Issue: Ear Piercing

To pierce or not to pierce. Parents have to make all kinds of decisions about when and if to allow something their child wants, and when to allow ear piercing is what this post is about. M y eldest daughter, who has just turned ten, is leading me into the unexplored territory of tweenhood. The term ‘tween’, and probably also the life stage, didn’t ...