Daily Voice Dialogue - Issue 25

----- DAILY VOICE DIALOGUE -----

written by Astra Niedra, edited by Mark Belfanti

WELCOME to the twenty-fifth edition of Daily Voice Dialogue, a newsletter about using Voice Dialogue in your daily life.

NEWS:
There will be another article on Voice Dialogue by Astra published in an Australian women's fashion and culture magazine called Yen in June, and Astra's book will be featured in their products of interest pages.

WellBeing Magazine will also be reviewing the book in their next issue - the Editor loved it!

Best wishes,
Astra Niedra

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HAL AND SIDRA STONE COMMENT ABOUT ASTRA'S NEW BOOK, THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP:

"Astra Niedra has written a wonderfully simple, clear and practical book on relationship that will be of great help to anyone who reads it. It puts into perspective what a good relationship is about and shows the difference between living with another person and seriously partnering with another person. Astra has an ability to work with very profound ideas and translate them into language that makes them available to people with little psychological experience."
Hal Stone, PhD, and Sidra Stone, PhD

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TOPIC OF THE MONTH

THE BUSINESS SELVES

There are selves that are suited to business and selves that are not. And different selves are good at different aspects of business. Many people are not satisfied with how their businesses are going, and sadly, statistics show that many new businesses (over 90%) fail within five years.

One reason that so many businesses fail is that most people in business are identified with a self that may be good at one aspect of their business but may not be able to take care of all the aspects of running a business.

There are three main selves needed to run a business: the entrepreneur, the technician and the manager (this way of dividing the business pie was developed by Michael E Gerber in his excellent book on business The E Myth (HarperBusiness)).

The entrepreneur is the part of us who is creative and innovative. He or she has ideas that solve problems. If the entrepreneur part of you starts a business then that business will be based on providing an innovative solution to a problem.

The entrepreneurial self has vision, it dreams and it always sees opportunities. It is constantly looking forward and is focused on innovation.

You can not, however, run a business solely identified with an entrepreneurial self day-to-day tasks would not get done and few of the ideas would be seen through to the end. You need a part of you who will do the actual day-to-day work: the technician. The technical work in a business refers to the work that needs doing in your business, whether it be writing, baking bread or building houses.

The technician is the part of us that is the doer. It has specific skills and likes to use those skills. If a technician starts a business then that business will be based on allowing the technician to use his or her skills. It is not focused on finding an innovative solution for the customer but on creating an environment where it can do what it likes. Examples of phrases the technician uses are:

"I love helping people - I'll be a counsellor"
" I love cooking - I'll start a restaurant"
" I love technology and computers - I'll start an IT consultancy"

The technician is necessary for your business to work but it also will not lead to business success if it is the only part of you running your business. It works IN the business, not ON the business. It gets involved with doing the things that need doing and does not see the big picture, nor does it plan for the future. And for a business to succeed there needs to be someone working ON it, someone coming up with the ideas and vision (the entrepreneur), but also someone to plan and implement those ideas: the manager.

The managerial self takes the entrepreneur's ideas and works out how they will be put into practice. The manager is necessary for making sure the technician does not get carried away with tinkering and doing everything him or herself. The manager can delegate and comes up with systems so things get done efficiently and the business runs smoothly.

You need all three of the business selves described above in order to make your business run smoothly and efficiently and so that it can grow. At the very least, you need these selves in other people who will take responsibility for the three different aspects of running a business.

If you are a sole practitioner or have a small business then you need to have all three available as inner selves in you. Then if your business expands, you can delegate the roles to other people. You can choose which role you are best at and focus on that role.

The beauty of having Voice Dialogue available to you is that you can discover which role you are more identified with and more comfortable with and then with an aware ego in relation to that self, you can access the other business selves you require. You will get a far more balanced view of what needs to be done in your business and will have a far greater chance of making it work for you.

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EXERCISE

WHICH BUSINESS SELF ARE YOU?

The three business selves do not see eye to eye. Actually each sees the other two as hampering them - just look at how staff talk about management in many organisations, and how management talk about the entrepreneurs, and how the entrepreneurs talk about staff and management. Each sees the others as getting in their way and stopping them doing their work successfully. The truth is, they do in fact need each other in order for the business entity to function. So even though you will be more identified with one or two of the business selves, and may not think very highly of the one(s) you are not so identified with, you can still access the other one(s) to balance your system and gain input from all of them.

Look at the following descriptions of the business selves and find the ones you relate to most (these are summarised from Michael E Gerber's book The E Myth).

If you are a TECHNICIAN:
You have specific skills you have trained in and enjoy using them.
You are focused in the present, often getting caught up in doing your thing.
You become annoyed at the restrictive rules of your manager which you see as reducing you to a part of the 'system'.
You find systems dehumanising and impersonal.
You like to get on with your work and not have your duties suddenly changed by a new idea from the entrepreneur.
You distrust management because they always want you to be more productive.
You are interested in how to do your job and how to do it better.

If you are a MANAGER:
You are pragmatic.
You plan, order, and think about how to make systems run more efficiently.
You are focused on the past, learning from 'mistakes' and working out better systems.
You see problems in the systems that need fixing.
You put into order the things the entrepreneur creates.
You clean up the mess the entrepreneur makes.

If you are an ENTREPRENEUR:
You crave control and change.
You see opportunities in everything.
You are the visionary, the dreamer.
You live in the future - you think 'what if'.
You are creative.
You are always moving into the future and you often leave others behind - to complete and organise the job you instigated or to clean up after you.

So now that you have an idea of which business self(ves) you relate to most, you can work on finding the other selves in yourself - Voice Dialogue is a great way to do this. You can start by looking around you, at the people that you admire or criticise at work (remember, whatever you judge or over-value in others is disowned in you), and see which of the above business selves they fit. Then use them as teachers for you and learn to access or develop in yourself the qualities they possess.

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MEET THE SELF OF THE MOMENT - A BRIEF INTERVIEW

THE ENTREPRENEUR

Current job: No 9 to 5 job as such - I look for ideas that would translate well into businesses and I create businesses based on those ideas. I like to solve problems and I enjoy seeing solutions come into being.
Favourite holiday destination: Any place which stimulates my creativity and gives me ideas.
Favourite movie and/or television show: The one I'm creating for Universal Studios
What kind of car do you drive? Mercedes SL55
Favourite song/music: I did it my way by Frank Sinatra
Favourite book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

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BABY DIALOGUE

Examples from my experiences with my 4 year old and 2 year old daughters to illustrate how I try(!) to use Voice Dialogue in my life.

When you have children, you have little mirrors following you around all day. So many things about us are reflected in our children. Some of the things we see in these reflections are pleasing but some make us cringe. And sometimes we deny that what we see is in us at all.

The more you deny that something your child is expressing is in you, the more likely it is in you. This can be a great learning experience, a wonderful opportunity to use the intense emotion you are feeling and bring some awareness to your own personality structure.

Something that has been driving me crazy about Tinkerbell is that she seems to whinge a lot. When I look at myself, I remember always being told by my parents that I should not whinge. So one of my rules is that if I feel like complaining I should just not do it - I should be quiet. But I am aware that when I am under stress I do complain a lot. The part of me who whinged as a child was not accepted, was not listened to to see why she was behaving that way, so she was buried. But selves can not stay buried for ever.

My own complaining self emerged a lot last year when I was under a lot of stress. If I do not deal with her and embrace her, then she will continue to break out, particularly at times of stress. And as long as I do not deal with this in me, Tinkerbell will continue to play out that role instead. My annoyance is directed at Tinkerbell when she whinges, when in fact she is only reflecting a part of me that I need to embrace and understand.

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IMPORTANT NOTE

This newsletter is not to be taken as psychological or medical advice. If you require such advice you should seek it from an appropriate health care professional. This newsletter is also not intended for you to use in making life-altering decisions without communication between you and the appropriate health care professional.

Copyright 2000-2003 - Astra Niedra. ISSN 1444-6022. PO Box 1266, Rozelle NSW 2039, Australia. No part of Daily Voice Dialogue may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of the author, Astra Niedra, except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.

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