Daily Voice Dialogue - Issue 20

----- DAILY VOICE DIALOGUE -----

a free newsletter about using Voice Dialogue in your daily life

written by Astra Niedra, edited by Mark Belfanti

WELCOME to the twentieth edition of Daily Voice Dialogue. This newsletter covers various aspects of Voice Dialogue and gives you ways to use Voice Dialogue in your life on a day-to-day basis.

Best wishes,
Astra Niedra

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ANNOUNCEMENT:
HAL AND SIDRA STONE IN SYDNEY
One day seminar on Dreams, Personality and Relationships
26th October 2002
Organised by Michael Rowland Seminars
Phone 1800 67 62 62 for details

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TOPIC OF THE MOMENT

DO WE HAVE A 'TRUE SELF'?

Most of us have tried to find our 'true self' at some time. There are many books and workshops on discovering your 'true self'. So, how does this fit in with Voice Dialogue? All the selves you have within you are 'true' selves. They are each as valid as each other. Some selves might feel more comfortable to you because they are approved of by your primary self system. (See issues 4-6 for more on primary selves.) But if you were to separate from your primary self and went to an opposite self, that self would feel just as 'true' when you were 'in' it.

(The term 'true self' is often used by spiritual teachers to indicate a spiritual self or higher self; And 'Self', with a capital 'S', is sometimes used to indicate a common underlying spiritual nature we all share. 'True self' here is used in the way that many people use it to indicate what they think is their 'real' personality. )

Does that mean we have no self or way of being which is the 'real' us? And does that mean we have no unique purpose in life? If all the selves within us are as valid as each other, how do we work out what we will be like, what we will do with our lives? Who we are?

There IS a uniqueness to each of us, but it is not a self. Hal and Sidra Stone call it your 'psychic fingerprint'. This psychic fingerprint gives you a particular feel, which makes you identifiable as you to other people. It is what gives Picasso's art a very particular look and feel, even though his artworks span many different styles and movements in art. It is why many singers can sing the same song yet give it a completely different sound and feel.

This quality, which differentiates us from one another, is very closely related to your vulnerable child. It isn't your vulnerable child, but your vulnerable child holds it. It has a genetic element to it and what I call a 'soul element'. So many of us lose touch with this sense of who we are because we develop primary selves which protect our vulnerability; and, consequently, our vulnerable child, along with our psychic fingerprint, is buried. But even though many of us have no conscious connection to this sense of ourselves, it still permeates our being - just ask your friends and they'll tell you that no matter what 'mood' or self you are in, you are still identifiable as you.

So if you are trying to get a sense of who you are on a more essential level, one way to do this is to separate from your primary selves and discover your vulnerable child. Keep in mind, though, that your primary selves are just as valid. They are all an expression of you; they are very real and essential parts of your psyche and you will need them in your life to be able to live. You can't be identified with your vulnerable child and function in the world.

And anyway, your selves have developed the way they have largely because of your psychic fingerprint's influence. For example, if you have a calm primary self, in a Voice Dialogue session this primary self might say that it came into being at your birth because the rest of your family were so hectic that it had to balance things and be calm. But you would probably also find that your psychic fingerprint had a calmness about it, thereby influencing your primary self's development.

So a way to get closer to your psychic fingerprint is to meet the primary selves you developed as a young child. These selves are very likely to reflect it in some way. It feels more natural for one child to be very personal and connect with people right from the moment it is born (even before), and for another child it feels more comfortable to sit back and observe from a more impersonal stance. These inititial ways of being in the world, which usually develop into primary selves with those same qualities, reflect your psychic fingerprint, your essence, your vibration.

So if you feel that you are not being 'who you really are', try the exercise below.

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EXERCISE

If you feel that you have lost connection with your sense of what makes you unique as a person, and that you now automatically play certain roles in your life which you feel you have had no choice over, then try the following:

Think back to when you were a child and see if you can remember how you felt and acted. What were you most interested in? Did you enjoy quietly playing by yourself or running around outside with others? Did you enjoy books or being physical? Did you like nature? If your parents are around to talk to, ask them what they remember about you as a young child. Ask them if they can describe what kind of baby you were - were you quiet and calm or always moving around?

Maybe you changed during your childhood? See if you can map the qualities you expressed at different stages of childhood. Maybe you were very musical as a young child but had no-one to recognise this in you so you let this quality go and developed another quality instead. Maybe you loved taking things apart and discovering how they worked but were told off for 'breaking' things so you decided not to do this any more. Or maybe your parents expected you to be a certain kind of person, even expected you to have a certain occupation when you became an adult, such as a doctor or lawywer.

All this information will give you clues about what you are like and what really interests you. You can then choose to explore these qualities if you wish. Doing so will probably bring more joy into your life, especially if you discover something you have been interested in from very early on but until now haven't persued.

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MEET THE SELF OF THE MOMENT - A BRIEF INTERVIEW

THE CONSCIOUSNESS PUSHER

Current job: Admin assistant at a natural healing centre. I always look for work for people who I want to learn something from or at centres and organisations involved with consciousness work.

Favourite holiday destination: Wherever the latest workshop is being held.

What I'm reading: Embracing Ourselves, all titles with the word 'conscious' appearing in them, generally I read everything to do with self-help and self-development.

Favourite movie or television show: Oprah

Listening to: "Songs of Tibet - A Musical Journey through Tibet"

Favourite food: Anything vegetarian - I actually respect people who are vegan as they are incredibly aware of how the foods we eat are produced and how they affect the planet and animals, but I just couldn't live without eggs. I'm aware, though, that I have this 'flaw'.

How do your friends describe you? As a little pushy about self-development, mine and theirs. I'm always reading a book on consciousness and telling them about it, and I'm always busy with my practices. They think I'm a bit of a 'new age hippie' actually, and that I take life too seriously.

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BABY DIALOGUE

Examples from my experiences with my 3 year old and 1 year old daughters to illustrate how I try(!) to use Voice Dialogue in my life.

CHILDREN AS DISOWNED SELVES OF EACH OTHER AND THEIR PARENTS

Athena and Tinkerbell are opposites - surprise, surprise! Athena is sweet and compassionate, loves spending time on one activity, and has a soft energy and deliberate manner. She stands back in new situations and observes her surroundings before participating, if at all.

Tinkerbell is outgoing and connects with people instantly, she's very active and physical, and moves quickly from one activity to another. She gets involved quickly - literally jumps in - wherever she goes, and makes herself the centre of attention.

Each girl obviously will be a teacher for the other one - if they're interested in learning about their own disowned selves. But they are also disowned selves of their parents. Some aspects of their personalities are the same as our own primary selves but other aspects of their personalities are disowned in us.

For example, Athena takes her time with everything she does, particularly activities such as brushing her teeth and washing her hands. She'll stand at the bathroom sink for what seems like ages to me, and won't finish until she's good and ready. She washes her hands so meticulously, first the palms, then the backs of the hands, and then the fingers - one by one. I get impatient and frustrated with her because I tend to do that sort of thing quickly and move on. For me it feels like Athena is wasting time, and plodding along so slowly. So what does this teach me about myself? I'm identified with a far more fast-paced self and pusher, which hurries me along to the next thing to be done. Rather than get frustrated at Athena, it would be beneficial for me to access in myself some of the energy she is expressing. My annoyance with her and judgement of her is an indication that I'm identified with her opposite, which just can't see her point of view. I need to work on separating from my primary let's-get-on-with-it self, and integrate the self which knows how to take its time.

If you can look at all the aspects of your children that irritate you and use them as indicators of the disowned selves you need to integrate, instead of sitting in judgement of them, you will have an ever-present consiousness teaching mechanism in place, and you will have a far more enjoyable time with your children. You will also free your children up by allowing them to express more of their personalities, instead of continually pushing them into being opposite to you. They will still have primary selves, but it won't be so difficult for them to get in touch with the multitude of other selves available to them.

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COMING UP IN FUTURE ISSUES

Decision-making
Connecting with others
The business selves
Aphrodite
Relationships and children

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IMPORTANT NOTE

This newsletter is not to be taken as psychological or medical advice. If you require such advice you should seek it from an appropriate health care professional. This newsletter is also not intended for you to use in making life-altering decisions without communication between you and the appropriate health care professional.

Copyright 2000-2002 - Astra Niedra. ISSN 1444-6022. PO Box 1266, Rozelle NSW 2039, Australia. No part of Daily Voice Dialogue may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of the author, Astra Niedra, except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.