Daily Voice Dialogue - Issue 1

A free weekly newsletter about using Voice Dialogue in your daily life

Written by Astra Niedra, edited by Mark Belfanti

WELCOME to the first edition of Daily Voice Dialogue, a new weekly newsletter that will give you explanatory information about Voice Dialogue and ways to use Voice Dialogue on a day-to-day basis.

Best wishes,
Astra Niedra

TOPIC OF THE WEEK

AWARENESS * Not the only aspect of becoming more conscious
* How to differentiate between awareness and the observing mind

Awareness is a state of consciousness where you can 'see' or witness yourself, as if you were looking at yourself from outside yourself. You need awareness to be able to 'see' your selves in action, to gain information about these selves.

Many people strive to become more and more aware. But remember, awareness isn't the only aspect of becoming more conscious. You need to EXPERIENCE life through the selves and then you need to start to be able to have choice in HOW YOU WILL EXPERIENCE LIFE - this is why you need an Aware Ego.

So all three together are necessary for consciousness. The Aware Ego on its own can't be consciousness - it exists IN RELATION TO the selves and needs awareness to be an 'aware' ego. The selves on their own don't necessarily wish to become conscious of other selves; they see things only from their own perspective and believe life should be lived that way. And awareness on its own enables you to see what is, but doesn't enable you to act.

It is important to differentiate between awareness and your observing mind which can often masquerade (quite innocently) as awareness.

How to differentiate? Your observing mind will "know" a lot about your other selves and this knowledge will be able to be expressed verbally. The observing mind feels very mental, as though it is located up high in your head. Awareness is also a state where there is knowing but it has a different quality: it can "know" a mental self and also know a completely non-mental self such as a being self; it just witnesses the selves, with no judgment and no agenda.

EXERCISE: DEVELOP GREATER AWARENESS

Pick a simple activity you do regularly such as brushing your teeth. While doing this activity try to become aware of yourself doing it. Really pay attention to what you are doing each moment. Feel what is happening.

If you have met a few of your selves in Voice Dialogue sessions, try to identify who in you is present while you do this activity. Is it your Pusher, making you brush quickly so you can get on with the next thing? Is your Critic watching you? How do these selves make you feel?

Repeat this exercise a number of times and you will find it easier to trigger awareness of yourself/selves.

MEET THE SELF OF THE WEEK - A BRIEF INTERVIEW

THE PUSHER

Career history: Started work at 15, had average of 3 jobs a year, most of the time 3 jobs at once. Now I'm 25, I'm about to start my second international business.

Favourite holiday destination: What does 'holiday' mean???

What I'm reading: I've got eight books on the go and when they're finished I've got a list of others to read. There's also magazines, journals ..

Favourite Sunday breakfast: Who has time for breakfast?!

Are you in a relationship? Oh yes! And it's great - he really encourages me to grow and develop. We've planned which books to read, which workshops to attend, we've scheduled quality time together where we discuss where we're heading and plan how to get there. Yep, it's a great relationship.

Favourite movie: Speed

Favourite song: Anything by the Ramones

Favourite food: Take-away

How do your friends describe you? They say I've got a lot of energy and they're amazed at what I get done, but they also complain that I never stop to enjoy things - I think I always enjoy things, especially ticking off the lists in my diary!

ENERGY TIPS AND TRICKS

I PUSH YOU, YOU PUSH ME

The following exercise is a great one do with people who you are trying to introduce the concept of energy or energetics to. It demonstrates how simply by focusing your attention on a part of your body you can change whether your body is energetically strong or weak.

Get your friend to stand up, side on to you (one of their shoulders facing you). Ask them to focus all their attention on the lower part of their body, their abdomen, legs and feet. Tell them to really feel their legs and feet and how they are connected to the ground. Give them a minute to do this. Then give them a push on the shoulder. They should hardly move and will report that they felt very steady and grounded.

Now ask them to bring their attention upwards, towards their head. Ask them to feel light and tall, like they are reaching towards the sky. Again, give them a minute to do this and then push them on the shoulder. They should feel light and easy to push and they should report how unsteady they felt.

Now swap roles.

This exercise should impress even the most sceptical of energy sceptics.

BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

HONOUR YOUR DISOWNED SELVES BY HONOURING THEM IN YOUR PARTNER

If you are in a relationship, here's a great way of starting to honour some of your own disowned selves in a safe way.

Think about an aspect of your partner you judge in some way. Maybe you're very organised and you find that they are too disorganised; or you're very rational and you think they get too emotional; or you love the theatre and even though your partner goes with you, they would prefer to go to a sporting match.

Try to name the self that represents this aspect of your partner. Then try to learn and understand how this self sees the world - all you have to do is ask your partner!

If you can't see things from their perspective at all and are staying in complete judgment, then you know you're identified with your primary self who judges this quality in others. This primary self has also judged this quality in you and has disowned it. So you now know what one of your disowned selves is. If you come to this realisation, congratulations - you are becoming more aware!

If you talk to your partner with the intention of trying to understand this particular self and really try to imagine its perspective, you might just become less judgmental in regard to it and trigger an Aware Ego awakening in relation to it.

* Please note: You really need to have worked a lot with your primary selves before working with disowned selves using Voice Dialogue. It is far more important to get to know your primary selves and why they don't want your disowned selves around before actually uncovering your disowned selves.

BABY DIALOGUE

I spend most of my time caring for my daughter Athena who is now 17 months old. This section will take examples from my experiences with Athena to illustrate how I try(!) to use Voice Dialogue in my own life. It's for all the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles out there, and anyone wanting a taste of the trials and rewards of being a new parent.

When you think about it, a baby is a perfect aware ego development tool for adults. They are in the process of developing their own selves and during this stage mainly react to your energies/selves. They also test you and your various energies and selves as they try to get what they need to survive and will nearly always find a way to push your buttons as they explore your boundaries. So you can either just react also, or you can practise using your Aware Ego.

NAPPY PATTERNS

When Athena was about 12 months old she began refusing to cooperate when it came to nappy changing. She screamed, cried, kicked and tried to roll off the table (she had no nappy rash or anything else which might have caused her discomfort).

I realise she probably had far more interesting things to do than have her nappy changed and it probably doesn't feel all that great to have someone wipe your bottom with cold, wet wipes, but there was something more to it than that.

Basically, her reaction depended largely on how I approached the situation.

When I picked her up with a feeling of apprehension about nappy changes, as I knew she didn't like them, she reacted very aggressively and angrily. If I approached her like a responsible mother, she acted more rebelliously. When I whisked her up and placed her on the change table with a sense of fun and played with her while cleaning her up, she responded by playing too. If I picked her up just feeling entitled to do so, without any apprehension about it, she would just let me get on with it.

It was amazing to have such instant feedback about the energies I was using. Just think how the energies you use every day influence the response you get from other people.

NEXT ISSUE

TOPIC OF THE WEEK: The Aware Ego
MEET THE SELF OF THE WEEK: The Perfectionist

IMPORTANT NOTE

This newsletter is not to be taken as psychological or medical advice. If you require such advice you should seek it from an appropriate health care professional. This newsletter is also not intended for you to use in making life-altering decisions without communication between you and the appropriate health care professional.

Copyright 2000 - Astra Niedra, PO Box 1266, Rozelle NSW 2039, Australia. No part of Daily Voice Dialogue may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of the author, Astra Niedra, except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.