Article - Connecting energetically

Energetic Connection

Have you ever felt as though your partner is not really listening to you even though they can repeat the words you have said? Do you get a cold feeling with some people and a warm feeling with others? Have you ever felt really intimate with someone and feel that you know exactly what they are feeling or what they are going to say?

We are all aware that we communicate using verbal language and body language. But there is another aspect to communication that our culture does not acknowledge. This is energetic communication.

We all connect with other people on an energetic level. Some of us feel this connection while others are not aware of it at all. We all have an energy field around us that stems from within us. There is a lot of information about this energy field available from alternative sources and in indigenous cultures but not that much from traditional sources in western culture.

In most circles you would be laughed at if you spoke about energetic connection between people. It is funny then that we use words and expressions in western languages that acknowledge energetic communication. We have all said that we have been 'left cold' by someone; or described someone as a 'warm and open person'; or said about our partner that they are not really 'with us' even though they are physically there; or felt sex as being 'empty' with 'no connection'.

We also talk about the 'vibe' of a person or place, or a party really 'buzzing', or a dinner party being 'low key'.

So even though we have no scientifically accepted way to measure energetic connection, we all intuitively know it is there. Even people who deny its existence still use language to describe energetic connection so they may not consciously accept it but on some level they are picking it up.

Until we develop scientific ways of measuring energetic reality and its effects, we can gain awareness of it through direct experience, for it is possible to fine tune your awareness and sensitivity to the energetic shifts that occur in yourself and in your relationships with others.

Each aspect of the human psyche has an energetic reality. Each subpersonality within our psyches is an energetic entity with physical expression in the body.

The energetic feeling of your rational mind is very different to the feeling of your pleasing self, your lazy self or your sexual self. And how these individual aspects of your personality connect energetically with other people also differs.

The quality of our relationships with other people is largely determined by how the selves our personalities are made up of interact energetically. If the main part of your personality is energetically open and warm you will prefer to mesh energy fields with others. If you are cooler and more impersonal you will prefer a more impersonal connection with others. In both cases, you will also be both attracted to the opposite energy, and repelled, at different times.

Now add to the formula the energetic nature of the other subpersonalities you are expressing (examples could be the action-oriented pusher who disregards relationship; the energetically invasive controlling parent part who has to know everything about her children or partner; the energetically inviting sensual self who has a very specific and universally recognisable quality), and you can see how complex our energetic interactions with others can be. It really is a 'dance of the selves' in our relationships.

If you want to understand your relationships better and have some choice in how your energetic interactions take place, then learning about this aspect of relating is incredibly valuable. Voice Dialogue will offer you much in this area as will other energy work that teaches you to become more conscious of your energy field.

For more information about how we connect with others see Astra's book The Perfect Relationship