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Relieve stress, and
learn to truly rest and relax by taking control of your Inner Pusher
Many people find it
difficult to rest and relax, and even to meditate, because they are trying
to do so while identified with an energy pattern or inner self called the
Pusher.
The Pusher is a part of the human psyche which
many of us are controlled by, without us even knowing it. Its role is to keep you
moving on to the next thing, whatever that may be for you. It works hand-in-hand
with the Critic and the Perfectionist. The Critic points out your shortcomings,
your inner Perfectionist tries to make you 'better', and the Pusher
pushes you to action, often making lists and schedules for you.
For example, if your Critic tells you you're not achieving much in life, and you decide to achieve
more, your Pusher tells you to write some goals, attend seminars and read
books on success, look up web sites for even more guidance, find a mentor,
change direction and research what you'll do next, and so on.
If your Critic tells you your house is a mess (especially in comparison to
your neighbour's, your sister's, your friend's), your Pusher reminds you to do the
vacuuming, tidy up, wash the curtains, sweep the courtyard, get rid of the things you no
longer need, re-arrange rooms/furniture/or even move to more easy-to-clean dwellings, etc,
and your Perfectionist makes sure you do it all just right.
If your Critic tells you
you are not spiritual enough or you are too stressed, then your Pusher makes
you attend yoga classes five times a week and meditate every morning. Yet
when you find it difficult to meditate your Critic tells you you're not
doing it properly and so your Perfectionist makes you try harder, maybe with
help from the Pusher who now makes you go to yoga twice a day, because you
obviously haven't released all the blocks and tension from your body and so
you need to keep working on it!
The Pusher is such a major force in many of us, that it is difficult to recognise it is
even there. It just feels 'natural', like 'who I am'. But every time you have a thought about
something you should do, and you feel propelled to action, that is your
inner Pusher at work. Even if you are resting, and you
start to think of what to do after your rest, that's your Pusher. It might even make you
jump up from the sofa and do whatever it is it has reminded you about, and
so without questioning it, you believe in the overriding importance of doing that thing.
And then, while you are busy doing something your Pusher reminded you to do, it often distracts you from
your task with reminders of all the other things you should do too. The
stress that results from this energy at work can be great, especially if you start to worry that
you don't have enough time to do everything which
'needs' to be done. You can then feel it is impossible to do everything on
your list,
so you freeze and don't get anything done! In some cases people who don't do much at all
actually have very strong Pushers, yet from the outside it seems as though they are
identified with a more laid back energy.
The Pusher can also be responsible for health problems such as migraines, heart
conditions, neck and back problems. Just feel the changes in your body when your Pusher
energy is present: think of the things you 'need' to do to bring in the Pusher. Then pay
attention to your body. Does your breathing or your heart rate change? Is there any tightness anywhere? How
do your shoulders feel? How does your stomach feel?
I realise this sounds quite negative, but if you have no
awareness of your Pusher energy and how it affects your state, the
consequences can be negative.
The positive aspects of the Pusher are that it is largely responsible for much of what
does get done in our world. It helps people get up in the morning and get going. It is an
energy that propels us forward, and if it was not available at all, not much would have
been achieved by humankind.
But the irony is that
many people actually achieve more when they separate from their Pusher
energy. When you do that, your actions come from a different place and there
is more calm in how you go about completing the tasks of your day. Unhooking
from the Pusher energy allows you to be more present and receptive to other
energies and so your experience of your day changes too. Time seems to move
slower (a great bonus) and stress disappears. And if you meditate with your
Pusher sitting beside you rather than in your lap, your meditation will
actually work.
Balancing your Pusher
When you realise you've got your Pusher operating strongly and you would like to turn down
its power, try the following: Sit (if you can) or stand still and
start to fantasize about doing nothing. Maybe you're on a deserted island, lying
under a palm tree, or maybe you're on the couch at home just staring out the window.
Imagine how it would feel to be in that situation - feel your surroundings. If you're on
the island, smell the sea air, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and the
softness of the breeze. Wriggle your toes and feel the fine sand run through them. Take a
few deep breaths and enjoy those feelings.
If you feel the impulse to get going again, try to be present in that
feeling and examine it. Is there any anxiety with it? If so, what is it
about? If you really can't stay still, then try to remember to take some of
those relaxed feelings from your fantasy with you. Hold a mental and/or feeling image of you in your 'doing
nothing surroundings' and take it with you wherever you go.
Please note that your Pusher might just add this exercise to its to-do list, making
the exercise yet another thing that is causing you stress. If this happens,
and you can't get into doing the exercise, just cross it off your list!
For further reading on
how our various inner selves affect our experience of life, please visit my
Amazon Bookstore and refer to the
books by Drs Hal and Sidra Stone.
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