|
Become a Conscious Eater
by Mary Disharoon, MA, LMFT
How does Voice Dialogue help someone who is trying to lose weight? It is a
method that lets you experience the different selves that live within you.
Certain inner selves have the job of keeping you safe and secure in the
status quo of the familiar. The Unconscious Eater selves do just that. They
keep you either stuck without any change at all, or they shift back and
forth between the dieting selves and the eating selves, so you feel like
you’re changing, but in fact, you still stay in the status quo.
Have you ever heard the saying 'Diets don’t work'? This is because once the
dieting selves help you lose some weight, the eating selves come in and gain
it back, because they are more concerned about safety and security than they
are about change. When you can access the Unconscious Eater selves in a
Voice Dialogue session, you’ll benefit from getting to know them, learn to
appreciate them, and be able to separate from them so you can open to some
new selves that you’ll need to become a Conscious Eater.
In a Voice Dialogue session, you will work with a pair of opposite selves,
meeting one and then the other so you can develop a bridge between them that
is called an Aware Ego process. You’ll know you are accessing your Aware Ego
capacity when you can inhabit the space between opposite inner selves,
feeling and understanding both sides of yourself, yet not identifying
completely with either side. When you are in an Aware Ego process, you will
be able to choose which inner self you want to favor, without leaving the
other side out. This does not necessarily mean pleasing both sides, but
finding a way to live with, and consciously carry the disappointment of the
side that doesn’t get its way with you. On some occasions, you might even
blend the two different selves, taking aspects from each side to create a
choice for yourself that is a compromise.
My working style as a therapist varies, depending on the individual wants
and needs of the client, but for deep, comprehensive and lasting change with
this issue, it is very
helpful to work with each pair of opposites that is listed below. Working
with these different selves and developing an Aware Ego process that can
'hold' their opposing energies are key to becoming a Conscious Eater.
Status Quo
UNCONSCIOUS EATING
SELVES
1. Protector of the Status Quo
2. Personal
3. Emotional Eater
4. Carefree Self
5. Nutritional Ignorance/Dictator
6. Exercise Avoider/Extremist
7. Inner Critic
8. Inner Rebel
9. Diet Police
10.Negative
|
Change
CONSCIOUS EATING
SELVES
1.Spokesperson for Change
2. Impersonal
3. Inner Nurturer
4. Loyal Activist
5. Nutritional Guide
6. Exercise Ally
7. Inner Teacher
8. Team Player
9. Body Authority
10.Positive |
The Aware Ego process stands between the different pairs of opposites and
keeps their energy separated so choices can be made that will create the
preferred outcome.
1. There is the Spokesperson for Change that will offer you the ability to
be aware of and articulate and remember what is motivating you to become a
Conscious Eater. Is it for health reasons? For comfort reasons? For
aesthetic reasons? For image reasons? For career reasons? For sexual
reasons? For personal freedom reasons? For other reasons? Its opposite is
the Protector of the Status Quo that is trying to help you stay safe and
secure by staying the same.
2. There is the Impersonal Self that will offer you the ability to hold a
boundary, with food, with people, and even with other inner selves. Its
opposite is the Personal Self that is open and available and unable to say
'No'.
3. There is the Inner Nurturer that will offer you the ability to hold and
self-nurture yourself as you feel and process your emotional pain. Its
opposite is the Emotional Eater that eats to avoid the feelings by
self-comforting with food.
4. There is the Loyal Activist that will offer you the ability to plan ahead
to prepare or purchase snacks and meals, write in your food journal, get to
the gym, etc. The opposite is the Carefree Self that is light and airy and
keeps you from taking anything too seriously.
5. There is the Nutritional Guide that will offer you the ability to help
yourself make healthy nutritional choices. Its opposite is the Nutritional
Ignorance or Nutritional Dictator, depending on the person.
6. There is Exercise Ally that will offer you the ability to support your
health needs through exercise. Its opposite is the Exercise Avoider or
Exercise Extremist, depending on the person.
7. There is the Inner Teacher that will offer you the ability to access a
deeper wisdom to guide yourself as a unique individual. Its opposite is the
Inner Critic that is requiring
a standard that is oftentimes unreasonable, unattainable and based on social
norms.
8. There is the Team Player that will offer you the ability to join the
group of selves that support weight-loss. Its opposite is the Inner Rebel
that helps you to protect your individuality by not following the authority
of others.
9. There is the Body Authority that will offer you the ability to connect
with the body’s innate wisdom and learn to eat intuitively when you feel
body hunger, stop when you feel body fullness and make food choices that
agree with your body’s desire for pleasure and satisfaction. Its opposite is
the Diet Police that makes a point of critically monitoring what you eat
based upon some outside authority.
10. There is the Positive Self that will offer you the ability to positively
support and encourage yourself during the process of change. Its opposite
is the Negative Self that fuels discouragement and defeat, both emotions
that can trigger over-eating. Voice Dialogue can help you discover and
cultivate these Conscious Eater Selves so you can
stay on track to reach and sustain your health goals. It can help you
separate from the status quo and open to some new inner selves that want to
help you. And with an Aware Ego process activated, you will be able to
manage the dynamic pull between the old and the new, and become what you
have desired.
© Copyright
Mary Disharoon
Mary Disharoon, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist in Northern California
who works with adults and couples using the Voice Dialogue method. In 1994
she started her training with the creators of Voice Dialogue, Drs Hal and
Sidra Stone, and is now considered one of their senior teachers. Mary is the
author of the newly released book, Conscious Eating. It's a quick
read that carries a powerful formula for change.
You can purchase Mary's book from
http://www.marydisharoon.com/products.html
Advertisement
Enjoy the benefits of a yoga studio at home with one-on-one instruction from yoga experts, Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman through videos, podcasts, pose guides, and a community forum for only $5 a week.
|
